Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
