Buhtt sex?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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