it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I lost the right to judge tonight
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
as a side note pls kill me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
