I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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