Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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