two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
