Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
