shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
