I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
