Texts From Last Night · BallsMcKenzie's Favorites

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BallsMcKenzie's Favorites Texts:

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist

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(757): View more from Virginia

Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK

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(941): View more from Florida

Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.

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(478): View more from Georgia

yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"

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