Texts From Last Night · amorhaim's Favorites

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amorhaim's Favorites Texts:

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(323): View more from California

I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)

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