Texts From Last Night · dmd's Favorites

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dmd's Favorites Texts:

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo

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(305): View more from Florida

She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.

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(512): View more from Texas

My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

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(419): View more from Ohio

we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.

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(408): View more from California

i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

(650): View more from California

i think otters can do that

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(541): View more from Oregon

my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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