Texts From Last Night · lefireshart's Favorites

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lefireshart's Favorites Texts:

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex

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(503): View more from Oregon

drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over

Fav 9 1583 892
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(443): View more from Maryland

He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".

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(951): View more from California

I'm sorry I peed on your everything.

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(716): View more from New York

Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.

Fav 2 516 350
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(802): View more from Vermont

when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.

Fav 12 2669 1271
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(303): View more from Colorado

You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.

Fav 4 428 812
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(530): View more from California

There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.

Fav 2 712 417
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