Texts From Last Night · mattias's Favorites

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mattias's Favorites Texts:

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(416): View more from Toronto

he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup

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(847): View more from Illinois

i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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(914): View more from New York

when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her

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