Texts From Last Night · meg23434's Favorites

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meg23434's Favorites Texts:

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!

Fav 11 2785 818
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?

Fav 9 936 1391
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(443): View more from Maryland

Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.

(1-443): View more from Maryland

That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.

Fav 18 1388 3110
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band

(312): View more from Illinois

Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume

Fav 19 3156 1035
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(914): View more from New York

How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man

Fav 2 1546 730
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(252): View more from North Carolina

i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.

Fav 8 2138 890
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM

Fav 17 1821 801
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(910): View more from North Carolina

He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.

Fav 5 1563 768
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