Texts From Last Night · omegachi's Favorites

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omegachi's Favorites Texts:

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.

Fav 4 2253 1143
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(201): View more from New Jersey

There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

Fav 14 2013 2925
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue

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(916): View more from California

I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up

Fav 5 3024 1299
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