Texts From Last Night · paulerd's Favorites

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paulerd's Favorites Texts:

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am

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(520): View more from Arizona

He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".

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(785): View more from Kansas

We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.

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(317): View more from Indiana

ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom

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(224): View more from Illinois

so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

Fav 33 13419 2006
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(910): View more from North Carolina

If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants

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