Texts From Last Night · pes5's Favorites

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pes5's Favorites Texts:

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(770): View more from Georgia

At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.

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(757): View more from Virginia

And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."

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(815): View more from Illinois

I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.

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(480): View more from Arizona

he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

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