Last Night in Australia (+61)

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.

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  Dude, you're not even gay.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"

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