Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (310)

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Last Night in California (310)

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(310): View more from California

we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck

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(310): View more from California

Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12

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(310): View more from California

I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.

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(310): View more from California

What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.

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(310): View more from California

I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.

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(310): View more from California

If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.

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(310): View more from California

Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?

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(310): View more from California

I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.

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