dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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