Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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