I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
