I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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