You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
