you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
