I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i out mim tonsoeep
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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