will power is for people who don't want to get laid
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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