Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
