I can tuck mytits in my pants
I faked an abortion last night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
