you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
