i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she smelled like a LAN party
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
