Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
