Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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