We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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