Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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