also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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