I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
