Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
