Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
the raccoons are back...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
