What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
