Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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