then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
