"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I got inside last night via doggy door
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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