I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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