yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
