My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
