Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
