How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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