I wanna bring you to show and tell
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
